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Old 12-03-2002, 07:15 PM   #1
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Default NEW LIQUOR LABELS

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that friends and ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.....

And I'll add one of my own here....

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you can walk on fire!

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Old 12-03-2002, 07:17 PM   #2
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Hmmm none and i mean none of these have ever ever EVER happend to me while drunk

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Old 12-03-2002, 07:22 PM   #3
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

I have woken up and wondered what the hell happened to my jock strap.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:37 PM   #4
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What? You mean alcohol makes that stuff happen? And here I thought it was all for real......LOL

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Old 12-03-2002, 08:40 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdiddy
Hmmm none and i mean none of these have ever ever EVER happend to me while drunk

kdiddy
This amn speaks only truth. There is no 6th planet aftershow video of diddy doing any of those things. hehe
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Old 12-03-2002, 09:42 PM   #6
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*is the sweet, innocent one* I can honestly say I've never been drunk...However, without being drunk I can still

Quote:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
Yes-I dance like a 'tard
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Old 12-03-2002, 11:50 PM   #7
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I can also honestly say I've never been drunk before, but I can't honestly say that I haven't done some of those things listed while sober, lol.
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Old 12-04-2002, 06:18 AM   #8
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I have done some of that stuff, won't say what, but more then a few!!
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Old 12-04-2002, 09:46 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estairiker
I have done some of that stuff, won't say what, but more then a few!!
Where's Steph......she'll tell us which ones you've done
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Old 12-04-2002, 09:58 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrenSaSC2
*is the sweet, innocent one* I can honestly say I've never been drunk...However, without being drunk I can still

Quote:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
Yes-I dance like a 'tard
Bren,
I dance like a white guy, so that's not too far off lol

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